as i sit here listening to CC talk to her feet and Marcus snoring...theres a few things very heavy on my heart. One of which I can not write here, or really anywhere that I post online so that I dont hurt anyones feelings....the other is this.
CC is almost 4 months old. She is getting so big and so animated lately. I love her so much.
What i dont love though is the fact that I'm pretty sure me and Marcus dont "talk" anymore. Don't get me wrong its not like we are walking around here in a silent house - its just what we talk about is always something to do with CC or what i like to call "buisness". What'd you do at work, did you put in for leave, i need to go and get this and that, what do you want me to cook for dinner, etc. There's no real....whats the word....caring? It's not how was your day, i missed you, etc.
Here is a basic day in the Fautherree residence:
8 -9AM - Marcus gets home from work and showers.
9AM - 12PM - Marcus grabs CC, feeds her, eats breakfast, and keeps her so I can get a few hours of uninterupted sleep.
11AM -12PM - at some point i wake up and either go downstairs, or wait for him to come up to bed.
12PM - i get up, brush my teeth, and grab the baby. Kiss marcus and go downstairs.
12PM - 7PM - nothing but me and CC. Marcus sleeps, we usually eat, sleep, watch tv, internet, etc. cook dinner, clean....
7PM - 9PM MWF/7PM - 10PM T/Thurs - Marcus gets up at some point in those 2 hrs, eats dinner, and turns on the tv to whatever show we dvr'd or watch that day.
9PM/10PM-11PM - Marcus gets ready for work and leaves
thats it... ssdd. theres no romance, no connection between anything but Marcus and the TV. I am getting pretty tired of this routine. It sucks. Yes, occasionally we "met in bed" for that usual once in a while dtd - but otherwise, thats it. no real conversation. The only time we have that connection is on the weekends. That breif moment between feeding cc and coming downstairs - we talk about useless matters. Still not loving or caring things...just whatever comes to mind. Usually, u wanna feed her or u want me to? wheres the diapers? etc.
Someone out there in internet land tell me how to make this horrible routine stop before our relationship truly suffers...im so tired of not having the loving and caring moments...and sooner or later, this will effect us in greater ways then we are concerned about now - and i dont want it to....<3
Praise Reports:
GREAT Easter
CC's belly button isnt serious
Got a babysitter for the concert :-D
IUD was removed safe and quickly
Good friend's baby is still sticking :-)
Prayer requests:
Marcus gets staff
Safe travels
Baby M & B gets here safely
Four month shots go better then 2 month shots
Something good for Betsy and Chris
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I know totally how you feel about not having that relationship with your dh anymore. My dh has his son who lives with us and I know its awful, but sometimes I feel that if he weren't here that things would be better between dh and I. That we could just be a small family of three and things would be wonderful. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm glad things are as green on the other side of the fence like I thought they might be! I know its a constant struggle for us to stay -in love- and act caring all the time. Ya just have to make a conscience effort each day to do it!
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