Well ladies & gentlemen, ok who am i kidding, ladies, lol, we knew it was bound to happen right? The inevitable cold/flu during the first year of life. What we didnt expect was that it would come on the sleeve of this huge swine flu pandemic. Guess Cadence will be just like her mother, if you're guna do it, do it big right?
I have been battling this since Monday. Started off as a bad decision sore throat I assumed was brought on from my sleeping next to an open window all night. What can i say? i was sweating & marcus was cold. u do what u gotta do. Then within 48 hours it turned into a full blown flu. Totally diasterous to a new babies immune system & terrifying with Swine Flu fresh in the news. My first instinct was to lock myself away from all human contact until i was 110% healthy...but cc, who will watch cc? This is when that 1000+ miles from family truly sinks in, and totally blows. Of course my mom would rush to help - but it appears that I am not the only one in need of a mother's love. in the battle of the sniffles vs a brand spanking new, totally adorable might I add, granddaughter + a new c section hurting, breastfeeding, totally sleep deprived mom - duh, of course she wins, hands down. I wouldn't even think of asking. & so, here i am, running fever, barely mentally here, yet marcus has to work. no choice in that. I tried to get the dr to get him out of work so that I could quarintine myself from them, but of course, thats just not an option.
So, what does a desprite for sleep, totally full blown sick, fever suffering mommy do in this time? daycare. Yes, i broke down, cried my eyes out, and dropped her off at the daycare on base. Had i ever been there before? no. Had i stayed a while to make sure that i agreed with their standards? no. Is that horrible? i think so. But what was i going to do? Hang out long enough to infect all these other tiny littles lives? They said call whenever, at any time, and I could get an update. Did i? no. I feel like a horrible mom now, but the rest I got, i needed. I needed Cadence to be somewhere germ free. I needed her to be away from me - not because i dont want her, but because i love her too much to be the reason she gets sick....but, despite my horrible effort - she indeed got sick.
No fever yet - we are still crossing our fingers on this one, but a stuffy stuffy runny nose, cough - and the occasional sneeze. Do i think i am a horrible mommy for letting this happen? yes. Could i have done any more than I did to try and protect her from this? no. i dont think so. So I decided to at least document the days...one by one. Until my little lady is fully totally healthy again.
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